Okay, I lied recently. I do have a twitter account only it's in my real name and no one knows who I am... I surf the web in silence... solitude... er... stealth. WTF ever.

Anyway, I happened to notice a Twit conversation about Zero Options. What is a Zero Option you might ask?

It's like this. You build a house, and you get a squatter, that's right, an SOB no good for nothing that wants to use that house and not pay you a cent, not a penny, for the right, the privileged to use it. They want to live in it for, hell, maybe 6 months or more... and not pay you.

Sounds like fun, huh?

So lemme ask you, Why on God's green earth would you ever option your script to a so-called "Producer" for freaking nothing?

To get some of you caught up, an "option" is when an entity (usually a producer) contractually obligates you to marry them for a period of time while they try to get the thing to a honeymoon... did that help!?

Probably not.

Any hoo... you give up your house for a period of time and allow someone to sleep in the beds, piss in the toilet, messy up the kitchen, and for your trouble you get a meager "option fee" against another sum of money you get if by chance this scumbag happens to sell the house... you wit me!?

Anyway, it was suggested recently that giving away this house ... the milk... for free was a common event and should be understood... or accepted... or whatever. 

When I read this I about coughed up a lung (the only one I have left)... And this guy is considered an expert on the Internet as a "pro" screenwriter. WOW!

Anyway, my advice... DO NOT.... EVER... give the milk away for FREE because they will never EVER buy the cow...

If this producer thinks anything of you he/she will pay you something, anything, to prove it... make them prove it. Do not take ZERO because then you accept the premise that you're a ZERO WRITER. Not!

You have a pulse, you take up space, you MATTER!

Don't do it... move on and find a real Producer!

Peace. Out.

PS- sorry for my absence going cold turkey on drugs and booze has been hell!! But I am still alive!

HC