(09/19/01)

NOTE: The screenplays we review are often in development and may experience many rewrites, some could end up being completely different than what is reviewed here. It is our hope that our reviews generate more interest in the film. Thank you.

(Please note: This was written before the tragedy on 9/11/01. Ive left it as is and have decided to post it anyway. I hope in some small way it is a diversion for people who are in pain.)

Theres only so much time, as a man once said, and I find myself with quite a few scripts for movies that will be released in the coming weeks. I never got around to reviewing them, but I think theyre worth a gander and I present to you now what we here have decided to call a "quick-hits" review.

First script up is DONT SAY A WORD. Michael Douglas latest thriller. It was directed by Gary Fleder and also stars Famke Janssen, Brittany Murphy, Jennifer Esposito, Oliver Platt and Sean Bean.

WORD is based on a book Ive never read by Andrew Klavan (who contributed to the script). Its out of print, but dont get a fan talking about it: they wont shut up. A certain female friend of mine raves about the "heart-racing suspense" of it all.

The script shows signs of life, but its not all sweet-smelling roses. When I was done reading I realized the script brought to mind three movies: RANSOM, WAIT UNTIL DARK and THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY.

The story is sort of interesting. A psychiatrist takes on a new patient at Bellevue the day before Thanksgiving. She wont eat, talk or shower. She was transferred here because she cut up an orderly at her old hospital like a rack of ribs. Despite being in mental hospitals for most of her life, the eighteen-year-old Elisabeth had never done anything violent before. Our doctor, Nathan Conrad, is the first to make any headway with her. And he pays for it. The next day, Thanksgiving, his daughter is kidnapped. He gets the classic, deep-dread phone call: we have your daughter; dont call the police; if you do we kill her; we need you to do something for us and you have to do it in an impossible amount of time. What they need is a code Elisabeth has locked in her head. These men pulled a heist ten years ago with her father and he made away with a huge diamond. Only she knows where it is stocked away.

Elisabeth, we find out, isnt as crazy as she seems. Shes actually been mimicking illnesses to stay in the hospitals. Shes seen what these men are capable of and wants to protect herself. She does suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. For reasons youll understand if you see the flick.

DONT SAY A WORD is sometimes obvious and you may feel a reflex of been-there-done-that, but it does have two or three great scenes: The reason for Elisabeths post-traumatic stress disorder, told in flashback, is both heartbreaking and sickly fascinating. When Conrad finally gets Elisabeth talking and figures out what happened to her -- bringing her back to the very spot to jog her memory -- its a fun moment of breath-catching, hair-pulling excitement. And on a more personal note, the scene of Conrad plowing through marching bands and the like during the street-packing Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade was a hoot.

WORD, of course, also has its problems: The revelation might be fun and its high point, but it has a bizarre flaw. The bad guys tell Conrad they need a seven-digit code from Elisabeth. But according to this script, which has been rewritten again and again, they shouldnt know of this code. They are aware she has information leading to the diamond her daddy swiped, but if they actually knew of the code connecting the dots of where the diamond is hidden would be childs play. Its so goddamned obvious youd have to be zonked out on Thorazine to miss it.

Another problem: As I noted, when Conrad gets the goods from Elisabeth it is one of those moments when you chant in your head: comeoncomeondoit! After that, though, when we get to our "real" climax, you lose total interest because its so ancient and dull. They travel to where the diamond is. I dont want to give it away, but since theyve now found out the location it is at, where she hid it at this place should be easy as pie to figure out. But Conrad has to put on his soothing voice once again and lead her through it. Then theres the inevitable shootouts and people killing each other. The script was a competent enough thriller till this point. But the creaky ending will have you leaving before its done.

And heres another head-shaker youre supposed to "just ignore": whats with this time limit? The bad guys have been waiting years to get this diamond back. They cant wait another day? Or week? By making Conrad force they could cause him to push Elisabeth into an even deeper hole. The you-have-till-five-oclock countdown is a device for the movie and nothing more. But it works, so give them a break.

The second and third female leads, Conrads wife Aggie (played by Famke Janssen) and a cop named Cassidy (played by Jennifer Esposito), are underwritten and dont lend the script much. Aggie is in traction and we watch her back at her apartment, immobile and frenzied over her daughters safety (with no way to help or know whats going on). She gets in on the action, taking out a bad guy, but you saw how shes gonna do it long before it happens and you really dont need any of this. The female cop, who is more or less around to simply show up at the end, distracts us with her just-one-of-the-guys breeziness. Heres all we care about: the race against time. We should be with Conrad and Elisabeth and never leave them. Conrad has only a few hours or his daughter is dead. Hes dealing with an ill girl whose damaged brain could short out on him at any time. Taking us away from Michael Douglas sweat and fever is a waste and a mistake.

Patrick Smith Kelly, who wrote the dreadful ACE IN THE HOLE, gets sole credit on the script I have. A half-dozen or so screenwriters worked on the script. Kelly being the last of them. He gets second-slot credit on the movie and we can assume a lot of this is his work.

(One final note because I cant help it. Conrad is a psychiatrist, as I noted, and hes not exactly great (the opposite of which is repeated again and again in this script). In his opening scene a young patient is being confronted with the knowledge that Conrad knows hes been stealing panties out of the girls locker room. "Its okay to want to masturbate into a pretty girls panties," Conrad tells him. "But stealing them is acting out." The young man sighs, relieved, and asks, "Where should I get them?" At this point I laughed. Thinking it was hilarious that the young man still thought he should spend his nights tossing off into the lace and satin of a French cut. And I waited for Conrads witty rebuke. But it didnt come. Instead: "Go into a store and buy a pair. Or find a girl you can trust and ask her for a pair of her panties." All I can say is: With doctors like these...)

*

Next up is TRAINING DAY. Written by David Ayar. The only flaws I can find are that I didnt read it sooner and that it ends.

TRAINING DAY is, simply, awesome. I dont mean that in the BILL AND TED sense of the word. More so, it inspires awe. It also begs the question: Where has this David Ayer been? His rewrite on James Ellroys PLAGUE SEASON (now retitled 4-29-92) was horrendous. Im indifferent to U-571. And THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS does nothing but make me furious.

Chalk those scripts up to being rewrites. Because TRAINING DAY is outstanding. Its crisp and tangy. A staccato-beat masterpiece, stroked with reality shades of rouge.

The second we meet Detective Sergeant Alonzo (played by Denzel Washington) we know that were in the presence of a bad, bad man we will easily come to love. Alonzo doesnt waste a word: his drumbeat, slang-enhanced speech pops out at you like stinging gunshots. He never misses a beat, and he never lets an opportunity go by when he can whip you with the knowledge that hes smarter and better than you are. From his first meeting with rookie Jake Hoyt, with him today for his training in undercover narcotics, he shows proudly who he is. Jake tells him of a massive bust while he was patrolling. Alonzo finds out his T.O. (training officer) was a female and wants to know if she was hot. She was. Upon hearing about the bust all Alonzo can do is marvel at the fact that Jake was stuck in a car for a year with a fine woman and never took her into the back seat for a little fun.

Today is Jakes training day and Alonzo thrusts him right into the fire. Busts, drugs, snitches: Jake is getting pounded from all sides. Hes heard about it, and now he has to live it. Alonzo makes him smoke pot he got off a snitch and finds out too late its laced with angel dust. Jake is so high hes skimming the tops of skyscrapers.

TRAINING DAY works on an exalted level, and its pretty simple why: When youre in Ayers hands, you feel as though youre with a man who has full knowledge of what hes writing about. With most movies about cops and drugs, you roll your eyes and check off all the mistakes theyre making. Abhorring the fact that they take us for fools. Most movies like TRAINING DAY, and PLAGUE SEASON/4-29-92 can be included, are like bad episodes of NYPD BLUE. TRAINING DAY, however, is a staggering gut-punch: its alive, electric, fully aware of its subject and utterly fascinating. Ayers level of skill here is astounding. The script is entertaining and involving, exciting and shocking, and yet its realistic. What youre reading feels real in that small-scale-of-street-life way. It is still bizarre and alien to us, as non-cops, but it has a verisimilitude in its haphazard-events, one-day-in-the-life-of-a-cop structure.

The real highlight to the script, of course, is Alonzo. A strutting bad-ass of the highest order, Alonzo is set to go down as one of the best bad-guys-you-love in the history of cinema. Ayers use of language, street and cop slang commingling into a dialect, is the best stuff Ive read in a long time. It sort of transcends all those who are famous for their dialogue. Unlike Elmore Leonard, its not just about the cadence. And unlike Tarantino and David Mamet, its not artificial. Ayer is jazzing us with our own words: this is something someone could say -- if they were smart and witty enough.

Thats what it all comes back to here: reality. Until the end, Ayer never gets off that track and its a breath of fresh air. I can easily say that TRAINING DAY is one of the best scripts Ive ever read. And struck me in a way nothing has in years. David Ayer hasnt been doing much with his career, but if he turns out a few more scripts like this -- not just cop stories, but detailed, cutting works getting into the real life of extraordinary people -- he could be a new voice in screenwriting.

Its no wonder why Ayer was hired to rewrite Ellroy: they are similar writers. Only Ayer is more talented and has a more expansive view. Every script Ive read by Ellroy is the same damn thing: corrupt cops out doing unrealistic, wonky things. TRAINING DAY is what Ellroy always seems to be striving for and misses.

Im hoping the movie retains at least fifty percent of the power the script held. Antoine Fuqua directed the film. Truthfully, as talented as the man is, his over-the-top style might have gotten in the way. Ethan Hawke is not who I would have thought of when casting Jake (hes a bit old, for one) but its an interesting choice and Im sure hell bring something to the role. As for Denzel, who takes on the best role of his life with Alonzo, there should be no stopping him. The part seems to have been written for Denzel. Denzel definitely picked the right role for his first bad-guy part. Alonzo is all cool, calm, jaded cop. Hes calculating and insouciantly intelligent. This will be, no doubt, Denzels best acting in a decade.

If youre a backer of cops (like myself), sick of the way they are portrayed in the press, you might be disturbed by where this film ends up. And, I suppose, it is a bit of a letdown that the ending turns into a quasi-thriller (everything happened for a reason, you find out). Having said that, its still a work that can flay the epidermis of society (ours and the cops) and show us what lies beneath.

I dont expect TRAINING DAY to be a big hit (the trailer doesnt exactly inspire) but I do hope you guys give it a shot based on this wonderful script.

*

And now to the other end of the spectrum. GLITTER (formerly called ALL THAT GLITTERS). The story is credited to the screenwriter and the star of the movie, the broke-down-in-the-public-eye Mariah.

I took a look at this script to see if I could glean anything from it that would indicate why it so "exhausted" her that she shattered like fine china. I dont see anything in the action she had to perform, but, after reading this, I could understand why a brain-lock occurred: the tedium.

Mariah co-created this story, so shes to blame, too. This is yet another tale of a jewel-in-the-muck talent picked from obscurity, put out there to face her fame, and then coming to the realization of what fame really is. Backs are stabbed; our heroine (named Billie) must leave people behind, which causes a suicide attempt and a lot of bad speeches; she has to handle larger crowds, radio play, a music video. Is she really the same Billie now that the world enjoys her music? Can she deal with all this and the fact that her mother nearly killed her by setting the house on fire, thereby losing custody of her? Will Billie fall in love with a certain man in the story? Are you still awake?

This movie is so cliched Im wondering whether or not the author was trying for a mini-spoof. I suppose more so they just wanted a Mariah soundtrack and told the author to go point-for-point in the Rags to Riches handbook.

Who will go see GLITTER? My answer: no one. Who the hell is it geared to? No real movie fan will pay to see it. Horny teenagers who lust after our star wont get a long enough look at her flesh to care. And her female fans will probably find the 80s setting lame.

Some critics attack people who come from a different vocation and go into acting for trying too hard their first time. Cindy Crawford in FAIR GAME is a perfect example. Then you see people like Dwight Yoakam in SLING BLADE and you see that is nonsense. The best thing is to get away from what you are in real life. I think playing a singer riding to the top of the charts is the worst thing Mariah could have done. Werent there any funny relationship scripts lying around?

At one point a music-video director looks at Mariah/Billie while she stands, clad in a bikini, before a mirror. "I love it," he says. "This is Audrey Hepburn."

I dont think so.

*

And finally we have William Goldmans adaptation of Stephen Kings HEARTS IN ATLANTIS.

My colleague, Chris, already reviewed this script. You can find a more detailed take there. Chris didnt read the material its based on, and that is the only reason I write this.

Its impossible for me to envision this script on its own; Ive read the book and the knowledge within will never leave me.

The script certainly isnt shabby. But is it good? Is it anything more than a distilled version of the novella?

Both the script and the book are about the same thing: the bond between an older man and a young boy. The young boy never knew his father (all he hears from his mother is that he was a deadbeat) and Ted, this new stranger in his life, fills a void for the boy: Ted is someone he can talk to, imbibe knowledge from, throw questions at, look up to. In the story, which is called LOW MEN IN YELLOW COATS, the bond forms from a mutual love for reading. Ted, like King, is a limitlessly knowledgeable man when it comes to novels and their authors and hes able to lay out all kinds of funny and relevant details to the young boy, Bobby. Ted gives Bobby his first mature book: the brilliant LORD OF THE FLIES. I find it bizarre that all this is left out of the script. Bobby and Ted still talk and Goldman injects a story about a football championship and theres some politics (Goldman throws out an insult toward Nixon) -- but what else is there, really? Whats in the script that causes them to bond so fiercely? That Bobby didnt have a dad isnt enough.

Goldmans script follows Kings novella nearly scene-for-scene -- all the big events (the three-card-monte scene, Carol getting hurt, Bobbys mom in trouble, Bobby at the pool hall) are there. But somehow lessened and defanged. Without the relationship as it is in the book the overall punch of the story is no longer as strong. Its amazing how Goldman can leave out so little but still devitalize the entire story. The supernatural elements in LOW MEN IN YELLOW COATS were never the main objective. (A bunch of DARK TOWER talk turns up in the end.) More so it was about a little boy dealing with his insupportable mother, who gives him nothing, including real love and affection, and finding an attachment for a man who is briefly in his life and becomes the one male hes known in the role.

Something we find in the book but not in the script is the creepy and surprising idea of Bobby knowing that the Low Men are closing in but not telling Ted because he doesnt want to give him up. Goldmans ending is another problem. He didnt have the luxury of bringing these characters to other places, as King did in the book, but King shows us that Bobbys actions in the end, and the life hes led, lead to hard times and a miserable life. Goldman has it as a sun-spangled kiss. All that Carol and Bobby did leads to happiness and love. Goldman sets up Bobbys final, violent act as some sort of release. Man, is that the wrong way to go.

LOW MEN IN YELLOW COATS is only two hundred or so pages long. Im pretty sure Goldman could have copied it down word for word (the way Darabont did with his first draft of GREEN MILE) and it would have made a smashing screenplay. By not including more of what made the story special, the bond between Ted and Bobby, he sort of rips its guts out.

Ill once again state my consternation at the title. HEARTS IN ATLANTIS makes no sense when put on this story. They dont play Hearts, and theyre not in Atlantis. I guess when that story finally hits the screens -- and I hope it does because its even better than this one -- theyll call it HEARTS.

Goldman not only doesnt bring anything to this adaptation, he cuts it off at its kneecaps. It was an easy job, even easier than MISERY, so its too bad it didnt work out the way it should have.

The book is always better, but it didnt have to be that way this time.

-- Darwin Mayflower.

Send thoughts and comments to: darwinmayflower@yahoo.com