State of Affairs
June 25th, 2001
By Darwin Mayflower
To quote a friend: Holy dog sh*t! Or, to put it another way, whats going on at the box office? Weve had a one-two punch trouncing the last two weeks. First LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER makes forty-eight million. Now the super-silly, idiotic FAST AND THE FURIOUS makes forty-one million. I totally understand why TOMB RAIDER roared out of the gate (and dropped 58 percent in its second go): Angelina, all buffed up, looked hotter than Middle-Eastern food and the film tricked us into believing it would be INDY JONES with breasts (which it should have been and wasnt). I was impressed with the early footage from RAIDER. It looked like fun. Then came that awesome poster, where Jolie, staring down at us with a look that could light anyones fire, her beautiful long legs in the foreground, and it was a done deal.
It wasnt much of a surprise to me that TOMB RAIDER was terrible. I still believe Simon West is one of the worst directors in terms of pacing working today. I didnt, however, expect the movie to be PAINFUL. With Wests horribly written script and a redundancy to the shooting, the movie is a no-fun mess.
But there was an excuse. Whats the excuse for seeing FAST AND THE FURIOUS? I cant understand teens. Sometimes they completely ignore a movie packed with young stars. And then, as in this case, they are blinded to the movies worth and run out to see it. What was it about FAST that attracted them? It couldnt be that terrible trailer. Or gravely-voiced Vin Diesel. Everyone involved with the movie says it speaks directly to its audience. How so? I know a whole bunch of young people. And they dont drag race. And they dont say things about living a quarter mile at a time. The biggest difference between the young people I know and the young people I see in movies is that the humans in real life are interesting, complicated and are fun to be around. Not so with the movies.
Im not one of those guys that attacks Hollywood for putting out atrocities. Hollywood, in my eyes, more than justifies its existence. I freely admit to adoring studio films like THE LAST BOY SCOUT and ARMEGEDDON and BATMAN RETURNS. Even softhearted comedies like the recent MISS CONGENIALITY can pass with flying colors. (Independent filmmakers sure like to cudgel the studios, but the truth is that they put out even more garbage than the studios do.) The reason I talk with such incomprehension about FAST and TOMB is because these movies are unadulterated crap. TOMB is all about its underused star (she just won an Oscar and has six lines of dialogue here), and FAST is a movie built around a spectacular stunt. Why, may I ask, does a movie like FAST open huge and DRIVEN, a racing movie that had more style and more racing, flop? I dont know.
We all complain about films like FAST and yell about the studios and pine for the days of the experimental 70s. But we go see these terrible movies! You cant blame a studio for greenlighting movies like FAST when it makes this kind of money back. In this case, a sequel really IS giving the people what they want. If theres anyone to blame for the current spate of moribund, brainless movies coming out of Hollywood -- it is us.
For all of those asking But what is the alternative? -- this is for you:
Look up WITH A FRIEND LIKE HARRY, MEMEMTO, UNDER THE SAND. Heres a trio of original, small productions. And no one talks about living a quarter mile at a time. And no one puts their hand on the back of your head and directs you through the aimless plot (as in TOMB RAIDER).
If you live in a town where these movies arent playing, go rent THE CLAIM or STATE AND MAIN.
I saw THE CLAIM in a packed house in Manhattan. It was playing, literally, in two theaters. Had the studio put a little bit more effort into this, I think they would have had a hit on their hands. Everyone leaving was in wide-eyed wonder at the end. Plus, Wes Bentley, our best young actor, gives a wonderfully grounded performance. As does his co-star, the phenomenal Sarah Polley.
So: THE CLAIM, best film of 99 STATE AND MAIN, or, hell, just rent DR. STRANGELOVE, order a pizza, open a beer, have a good time and stop worrying about something as pointless as what people go to see at the multiplexes.
-- Darwin Mayflower.
(Send thoughts and comments to: darwinmayflower@yahoo.com)
To quote a friend: Holy dog sh*t! Or, to put it another way, whats going on at the box office? Weve had a one-two punch trouncing the last two weeks. First LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER makes forty-eight million. Now the super-silly, idiotic FAST AND THE FURIOUS makes forty-one million. I totally understand why TOMB RAIDER roared out of the gate (and dropped 58 percent in its second go): Angelina, all buffed up, looked hotter than Middle-Eastern food and the film tricked us into believing it would be INDY JONES with breasts (which it should have been and wasnt). I was impressed with the early footage from RAIDER. It looked like fun. Then came that awesome poster, where Jolie, staring down at us with a look that could light anyones fire, her beautiful long legs in the foreground, and it was a done deal.
It wasnt much of a surprise to me that TOMB RAIDER was terrible. I still believe Simon West is one of the worst directors in terms of pacing working today. I didnt, however, expect the movie to be PAINFUL. With Wests horribly written script and a redundancy to the shooting, the movie is a no-fun mess.
But there was an excuse. Whats the excuse for seeing FAST AND THE FURIOUS? I cant understand teens. Sometimes they completely ignore a movie packed with young stars. And then, as in this case, they are blinded to the movies worth and run out to see it. What was it about FAST that attracted them? It couldnt be that terrible trailer. Or gravely-voiced Vin Diesel. Everyone involved with the movie says it speaks directly to its audience. How so? I know a whole bunch of young people. And they dont drag race. And they dont say things about living a quarter mile at a time. The biggest difference between the young people I know and the young people I see in movies is that the humans in real life are interesting, complicated and are fun to be around. Not so with the movies.
Im not one of those guys that attacks Hollywood for putting out atrocities. Hollywood, in my eyes, more than justifies its existence. I freely admit to adoring studio films like THE LAST BOY SCOUT and ARMEGEDDON and BATMAN RETURNS. Even softhearted comedies like the recent MISS CONGENIALITY can pass with flying colors. (Independent filmmakers sure like to cudgel the studios, but the truth is that they put out even more garbage than the studios do.) The reason I talk with such incomprehension about FAST and TOMB is because these movies are unadulterated crap. TOMB is all about its underused star (she just won an Oscar and has six lines of dialogue here), and FAST is a movie built around a spectacular stunt. Why, may I ask, does a movie like FAST open huge and DRIVEN, a racing movie that had more style and more racing, flop? I dont know.
We all complain about films like FAST and yell about the studios and pine for the days of the experimental 70s. But we go see these terrible movies! You cant blame a studio for greenlighting movies like FAST when it makes this kind of money back. In this case, a sequel really IS giving the people what they want. If theres anyone to blame for the current spate of moribund, brainless movies coming out of Hollywood -- it is us.
For all of those asking But what is the alternative? -- this is for you:
Look up WITH A FRIEND LIKE HARRY, MEMEMTO, UNDER THE SAND. Heres a trio of original, small productions. And no one talks about living a quarter mile at a time. And no one puts their hand on the back of your head and directs you through the aimless plot (as in TOMB RAIDER).
If you live in a town where these movies arent playing, go rent THE CLAIM or STATE AND MAIN.
I saw THE CLAIM in a packed house in Manhattan. It was playing, literally, in two theaters. Had the studio put a little bit more effort into this, I think they would have had a hit on their hands. Everyone leaving was in wide-eyed wonder at the end. Plus, Wes Bentley, our best young actor, gives a wonderfully grounded performance. As does his co-star, the phenomenal Sarah Polley.
So: THE CLAIM, best film of 99 STATE AND MAIN, or, hell, just rent DR. STRANGELOVE, order a pizza, open a beer, have a good time and stop worrying about something as pointless as what people go to see at the multiplexes.
-- Darwin Mayflower.
(Send thoughts and comments to: darwinmayflower@yahoo.com)
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