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ADVENTURES IN HOLLYWEIRD: Part One

[Bud Fleisher has sold over 19 screenplays and treatments, been produced to many times to count, and has been a working man's writer in Hollywood since the early eighties. Bud is now a columnist for the Utopia and will soon be doing Q & A.]


ADVENTURES IN HOLLYWEIRD (# 1)
Bud Fleisher

John 18:38 Pilate saith unto him, What is truth? And when he had said this, he went out again unto the Jews, and saith unto them, I find in him no fault at all.

You see here that even almost 2,000 years ago men have had a great deal of trouble getting at the truth. Actually this has been a problem for genuine truth-seekers since the beginning of time. Thing is there are really very few "genuine" truth seekers. Most people really want to hear a confirmation of their current beliefs, and even fewer will consider one that doesnt agree with that current view.

Elmer Barnes once wrote "The first casualty of war is truth."

So how does one go about getting at the truth. After all, isnt it also rather subjective? Well, maybe so... maybe not. Depends. So let me tell you a "true" story.

In the fifties ( I graduated from High School in 1954) I was working as a clerk for The Metropolitan Life Insurance Company on Madison Avenue and 24th Street in New York City. I was at that time quite enthusiastic about the Life Insurance Industry. I was young, ambitious, and had a girlfriend whom I would probably marry in a few years (which I did).

One of the "primo" jobs in those days with that company was in the department called "Field Management." Because the positions there dealt with their salesmen in the field the pay scale there was greater. But how to get in? I inquired and was told that one of the best ways to get into field management was to obtain the CLU (Chartered Life Underwriter) designation. It meant three to five years of studying after work, but I was assured that this was one of the best ways into the department. So I went down to Barnes and Noble up the block, got all the books for part number one, enrolled and began to study.

Now I must digress for a few lines in order to start imparting to those of you wise enough to learn more quickly. I was working in a department known as the "Cancellations Department." While there one of the guys--a clerk who had been there for about two years--married the daughter of a man who was a manager for the department on the floor below. Within six months this guy got a transfer and a hefty promotion into his Father-in-laws department. Still, I, being young and ambitious, was wise enough to realize that it was not a coincidence that he got that job shortly after marrying that girl!

(A word to the wise here should be sufficient. Now back to the main line plot of this first article)

So there I was in the CLU class. Studying my brains out, listening to the teacher and soaking in all the wonderful theory behind the Life and Health Insurance product. Actually it was genuinely fascinating and I began to marvel at the product, what it could do, and began to believe that nobody, if they knew what I knew about it, could possibly refuse to buy tons of it!

Sitting next to me was an older man. An Agent with over twenty years in the field. He could see I was quite zealous about the Life Insurance business. I sat next to him for about a month in the class and got to know him well enough to get on a first name basis, etc.

Finally, one evening, during a break he told me, almost in these words: "Actually, Bud, you cant sell insurance this way. If I tried that I would starve."

Well! Needless to say inwardly I objected to his raining on my parade here! Here I was sitting in on the class learning all this wonderful theory... in my heart believing everyone in the world felt the same as me... and here was this old guy (he was about 50-- Im 10 years older than that now!) telling me it wouldnt work! The nerve of some people! Hey, I was reading those books and listening to that teacher... You trying to tell me that guy knew more than them?! Let me ask you... what do you think? Did he?

I eventually left the home office levels and went into the field as a salesman. I had my rate book, my "cause" to enlighten the general consumer about the marvel of the Life Insurance product and who could stop me now? Yeah!

Well, as they say, "To make a long story short" after about 3 years of driving myself into the ground trying to show the people my "stuff" I finally began to realize that that "old agent" was the only one who really knew what it took. Why... because he had experience. He never had wanted to "rain on my parade." He was just telling me the truth, and based on the best teacher of all--experience.

"But" you might say, "Your experiences might not be the same as mine." Sure they might not be, but the lessons learned (sometimes difficult to accept) are there and only a fool doesnt learn from his experiences. Like that old saying, "fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me."

Whether or not you want to tune in to what I am going to post here (Chris has asked me to do this, so hear I am), I am already feeling like that "old agent" in my class some thirty-five years ago. Im going to relate some of my experiences as best I can and let you decide whether or not there is something to be learned from it.

I never made the "big time." But Ive had years of moving around that business. I have sold some nineteen screenplays and treatments, nine of which were made into low budget features and are "out there" somewhere. mostly, I feel certain that many "wannabees" need some honest answers and advice, not the general bullshit that permeates a large part of the "atmosphere" out there.

Im not trying to "rain on your parade" or pour salt in your wounds. Im going to tell you about things I know about and have experienced. In some cases I either cannot remember the names or I choose not to mention them because I neither wish to hurt them or to be sued! But the experiences are true. What you can learn from it, if anything, is up to you.

Chris tells me he is going to set up a Question and Answer forum for me on his site (coming soon). If you have any questions you want to ask, I will be logging on at times to view them. Ill read them, then get my comments and questions back to Chris so he can post them. Ill give you the best, the most honest and sincere answer (or opinion) that I can (based on my experience). I guess its now my time to be the "old agent." What you do with it is your decision. Sincerely-- Bud

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