Hollyweird

Bud's Resume

( From "Swimming With Sharks." Written and Directed by George Huang, based on his experiences while working under Barry Sonnenberg at Colombia Pictures. The film opens with the following introduction):

"In Hollywood one of the fastest ways to the top is to work for someone who's already there. The system dictates that one must first be a slave before you can become a success. This can be a very demanding process. Only a few people have the drive to endure the thousands of indignities and hardships that make up the system. Now this drive is usually motivated by greed...sometimes ambition...sometimes even love. There are stories of love inspiring success over the most insurmountable of odds. This is not one of them.")

Once again, the purpose of my relating this sadly true story is an attempt to help some of you overcome the general bullshit hype and confront the realities of the business. Because I too harbor an innate love of the business I would that it were different, but experience--years of it--dictates what is presented here.

The ad was either in the Drama-Logue (what a rag) or in the Hollywood Reporter. This was during those days when I was still wasting my time and money responding to the overall nonsense ads (well...99% of them are) that appears in them as regards "screenplays wanted". I already did have about 3 low-budget credits under my belt... But I was still foolish enough to hope something in the way of remuneration might come of it. So, I responded to the ad.

Later on I was to learn that this ad was run by a very wealthy real estate millionire who owned a building on Wilshire Blvd. Anyway, I was contacted by a "reader" from their office requesting several of my scripts. About 4 of them, actually. I spent the usual costs of xeroxing and mailing. About 2 months later I received them back with a nice letter from their "reader" telling me that although I was a good writer, obviously talented, my scripts were not exactly what they were looking for.

It wasn't until years later, while eating at a restaurant with my step-daughter and her fiance, that I was introduced to her fiance brother. (again, and especially here because it involves family--my step-daughter's brother-in-law--I am withholding names). Her fiance's brother told me he once read a script of mine while associated with--that's right!--the very millionaire to whom I had submitted the scripts. It turned out that this guy (the fiance's brother) was the one who was reading the scripts for these people. It seems he and my present son-in-law are close friends with this millionaire who wanted to produce a film.

Here it comes... The fiance's brother is/was a skydiver! He never wrote a thing in his life and about the only thing he knew about movies was the average price of admission at his local theater!

Further lessons for you wannabees out there: They eventually ended up producing a miserable psycho-drama starring Max Caulfield and Eddward Albert--why... because the millionaire's wife wanted to do such a film--or so I was told.

And guess who directed? Right, the millionaire! Wanna know what his experience was in directing a film? No, you DON'T wanna know any more.

Learn anything?

("Swimming With Sharks" concludes with the following dialogue as the main character is giving genuine advice to a wannabee in show business): "Let me tell you something, Jack. Everyone is gonna want to give you the same advice. Tell you that you have to pay your dues...ask you for a favor. They all want you to play by the rules--their rules. Well save that candy-striped shit for the Wall Street Wimps, because this town is a jungle. This is your inner city. These are the mean streets, and the only interests that you need to protect are yours. And the only needs that you have to serve are yours."

Dialogue from "Swimming With Sharks" Written and Directed by George Huang.

(Dialogue stated by the initially disappointed main character when on his first day on the job, he sees what is going on inside the "real world" of show business).

"This is no way to run a business"

(The response he gets from the experienced man breaking him in on his new job at the studio): "Uh uh! First mistake. This is not a business. No rules here. Save that Candy-striped crap for the Wall Street Wimps. This is show business. Punching below the belt is not only all right--it's rewarded")