ADVENTURES IN HOLLYWEIRD: Welcome to Hollyweird!
March 14th, 2004
Hollyweird
by: Bud Fleisher
( From "Swimming With Sharks." Written and Directed by George Huang, based on his experiences while working under Barry Sonnenberg at Colombia Pictures. The film opens with the following introduction):
"In Hollywood one of the fastest ways to the top is to work for someone who's already there. The system dictates that one must first be a slave before you can become a success. This can be a very demanding process. Only a few people have the drive to endure the thousands of indignities and hardships that make up the system. Now this drive is usually motivated by greed...sometimes ambition...sometimes even love.There are stories of love inspiring success over the most insurmountable of odds. This is not one of them.")
For those of you who have (or have not) read my previous articles, I will again mention why I like to use the above quotes from "Swimming With Sharks." Because it is one of the most honest statements (or appraisals, depending on how you view this) of the "Hollywood scene." When you have a dream-especially one that has the kind of emotions involving creativity-one of the first things to go is often reality. Take this years academy awards. How much nepotism was there? You'd have to dig deep, but does anyone really believe that Gwyneth Paltrow (poor little rich girl!) would have gotten the scripts and parts she has if she were not Paltrow's and Blythe Danner's kid?! Sure there are some exceptions to the rule/s but remember the other axiom: the 'exception' PROVES THE RULE. You want your dream realized? You want for there to be a real fairy godmother? Welcome to the club! And welcome to Hollyweird, where only in some rare times does that dream come to fruition. The system in Hollyweird is essentially designed to keep out new writer's. This is true despite all the baloney and hype belched out from the studios about always seeking "new" talent. Hollywood is a power structure, built on money, sex, money and sex, sex and moneyand probably also on money and sex! Now I know that those of you sitting behind your wordprocessors in Michigan (or wherever) go to the theatre and all that glamour is clouding your senses, but don't let it cloud your "common" sense too!
There is a harsh reality in that hundreds of so-called "teachers" across the country, in the colleges, schools, on the net, and the books on the shelf, are exploiting your dreams. "How To Sell Your Screenplay Bubby!" or whatever catchy title the publisher can dream up. It's designed to get you to put your ten or twenty bucks on the counter The majority of these books are written by people who have never sold a screenplay, even less ever been produced!
Am I saying that dreams don't come true? No! I am saying that it's rare. It's like the stock market or the lottery: we only hear about the one who won-not the hundreds of thousands who lost! There is also the nature of "showbiz" to be considered.
On two occasions, I was told by two different producers that I was the only "honest man" they ever did business with in Hollywood. Then they would, naturally, include themselves as the other "honest" guy! Maybe this was true about them. probably not But remember this, wannabees, they were expressing their surprise at finding what they considered to be an "honest man" in the business so what does that tell you, eh? And, here's another truth I eventually left that town primarily because of the nature of the business.
Now back to dreams coming true. I saw it happen. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood, Primarily an action film star, made it. I knew him when he was sweeping the floors in a computer room where I worked as an evening Operations Manager. This was in the early 1970's. He even bought my used car (a 1968 Mercury) for $300 and eventually drove it out to Hollywood. (From what I gathered by his biography in a paperback, the car blew up on him on the 101 freeway). He overcame the odds. He is not only very singular, but (opinion) very lucky, and even more--rare! Sure it happens, and as mentioned so does the lottery winner.
I'm not here to mince words with you wannabees. I don't want a dime from you. I'm giving you the straight dope! Very unpopular, most of the time. Well, you don't like the message, attack the messenger. On a few occasions, I have gotten email from some who read this internet group who really object to the truth.
So, again, I am not saying you should not pursue your dream. I AM saying, be emotionally (and perhaps financially) prepared for the consequences. I don't think there are many of you "out there" who love/d the business more than I do/did. Frankly, it was only my relentless insistence that got the 19 scripts and treatments sold and/or produced. Not great films (some real 'stinkers' to me), but they got done - almost a miracle to any of you who "really" know the system as it is, not as we would wish it is.
I hope you, whoever you are, make it-so help me God! But more, I hope you can take the almost certain destiny to ultimate disappointment. (Notice I do not say "failure". To me anyone who has the guts to pursue his dream and stand up to the disappointments and bullcrap is actually courageous!). Go at it if you want. Hell, it's supposedly a free country and no life is wasted if you get any joy from the pursuit (if not the attainment) of an elusive goal.
Here's the final dialogue from "Swimming With Sharks" for you to ponder.
("Swimming With Sharks" concludes with the following dialogue as the main character is giving genuine advice to a wannabee in show business):
"Let me tell you something, Jack. Everyone is gonna want to give you the same advice. Tell you that you have to pay your dues...ask you for a favor. They all want you to play by the rules--their rules. Well save that candy-striped shit for the Wall Street Wimps, because this town is a jungle. This is your inner city. These are the mean streets, and the only interests that you need to protect are yours. And the only needs that you have to serve are yours."
Dialogue from "Swimming With Sharks" Written and Directed by George Huang.
(Dialogue stated by the initially disappointed main character when on his first day on the job, he sees what is going on inside the "real world" of show business).
"This is no way to run a business"
(The response he gets from the experienced man breaking him in on his new job at the studio):
"Uh uh! First mistake. This is not a business. No rules here. Save that Candy-striped crap for the Wall Street Wimps. This is show business. Punching below the belt is not only all right--it's rewarded")
Good luck - God Bless - You'll need them both! -- Bud
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