(09/7/01)

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The United States Disciplinary Barracks, located in Leavenworth, Kansas, is usually referred to by another name: the Castle.

In 1870, at the invite of Ohio Governor James Garfield (who later became President), Major Thomas R. Barr attended the first conference of the American Prison Association (known today as the American Correctional Association). A topic talked over at this conference was the treatment and housing of military prisoners. At this point the prisoners did not have an exclusive jail and were scattered throughout various stockades in the U.S. The matter was looked into and investigated. As a result, it was decided that a separate facility, housing only military offenders, be built. After some wrangling, hitches and a location change, the first military prison was established in 1874 in Leavenworth, Kansas. It remains in operation today. Many of the original buildings still stand. It houses five hundred prisoners, with the capacity of seventeen hundred.

THE LAST CASTLE (a.k.a. THE CASTLE), which stars Robert Redford and was directed by Rob Lurie (THE CONTENDER), is maybe the most absurd script Ive ever read. Im a fan of both of those men, so I hate to say what Im going to say next because its probably going to hurt them quite a bit: this script reminded me of two Sly Stallone stinkers: LOCK UP and VICTORY.

When I was handed a script titled THE CASTLE (as it was formerly called) I got excited because I thought someone had written a movie about the fascinating history of the prison. (When the Department of Justice had control of the place they made the prisoners build the Leavenworth Penitentiary.) But instead it is the story of a hero who disobeyed an order, got a few of his soldiers killed, and ends up in the Castle. General Irwin (Redford) arrives at the prison with much fanfare: people rush to windows to catch a glimpse; the man who runs the place, Colonel Winters (played by James Gandolfini), has a special lunch arranged; prisoners that see him salute. Irwin is a legend; he has written books about war and has had books written about him. It looks like its going to be easy sailing for our hero -- what with the reverence and special treatment -- when something preposterous happens. Winter, an avid war-paraphernalia collector, overhears Irwin talking to Lieutenant Peretz (the second in command) and thinks Irwin is making fun of the fact that he collects these things when he doesnt know real war: he has not gotten his hands dirty and he accumulates this stuff because he wants to feel like a man. Irwin was, however, just telling Peretz what his boorish father would say if he saw the showcase. This entire script, this expensive story, hinges on that piece of school-yard absurdity. Winter is now ticked off, offended, and hes going to make Irwins stay at the Castle hell.

The prisoners come to Irwins cell and beseech him to use his contacts to get them better treatment. They claim Winter is provoking them into violence and keeping things strictly racial: Winter always pins blacks, whites and Hispanics against each other in petty spats he engenders.

Irwin is witness to Winters cruel behavior and decides its time for both of them to leave this place. They go tit for tat -- Irwin rallying support and Winter physically torturing Irwin (through chores) to beat him into submission. Irwins plan is to have Winter look so incompetent hell be fired and he stages an all-out, colossal, barbarous battle between the prisoners and the guards. Should Winter have to send for the CAC 506th Battalion (used only in a complete loss) Winter will be shown unfit to lead and get canned. Winter, knowing exactly what Irwin is up to, will not back down and has his men use live ammo and kill at will.

THE LAST CASTLE, in my opinion, suffers from many wounds in its story and its knowledge. First of all, its one of the worst scripts Ive ever read about prison life. It gets some things right, but for the most part it frames prison life like a high school hangout. People loiter around in the yard talking and shooting the breeze. All races are friendly and work with each other to solve problems (!). There is no violence unless its incited by Winter. No one is ever beaten, raped or stabbed. Gangs dont clash. You can pay off a guard with a carton of cigarettes. This place is more like a sitcom version of a prison. (I was waiting for the pixyish punk, who flits around like a teenage girl, to show up.) How do I know so much about prison? Well, Ive been to one. Once, rather drunk and lost, I disseminated a Major League Baseball broadcast with only implied oral consent and not express written consent. Im just kidding, of course. I do read a lot, though, and Ted Conovers amazing book NEWJACK, which exposes the inner workings of Sing Sing, shows this script to be patently ridiculous.

THE LAST CASTLEs other problem is that its so silly. Winter becomes murderous because he thought Irwin was making fun of him? Are they kidding us or what? Winter is said to be this terrible, awful man and, were told (and shown), sometimes he uses live ammo and kills prisoners. A) You cant just kill someone, a prisoner or not, without answering for it. B) Since Winter took over the place there have been no escape attempts and no guards have been hurt. So the question really is: If Winter gets these kinds of results, should we really care if hes rough with a couple of killers? Theyre in there for a reason. Which is yet another problem the script even makes mention of: Winter is set up as the bad guy. But, unlike Irwin, the people in the Castle are rapists and murderers. Are we supposed to support them and care if their Master deprives them of food and hot water? The inmates of THE LAST CASTLE are just about the most unlikely heroes youll find.

The massive battle at the end of the script is probably its highest moment because it fits right into its fatuous mode while doing it adroitly. I love these scenes because they are right out of HOME ALONE: use whatever you can find and turn them into weapons. As great/foolish as this skirmish is, its impossible to get over something: these prisoners are killing guards! Innocent-of-crime men who are working for the government are being gunned down by a bunch of criminals. And were expected to cheer? Its almost comically ludicrous.

THE LAST CASTLE wants to be the adventure version of THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION. Fighting the shoddy treatment and finding friendship in the joint, etc. But the script feels much more like a take-me-seriously rip-off of LOCK UP. The difference here is that LOCK UP knew it was a stupid action/escape movie. Even worse for THE LAST CASTLE is that the feel of the camaraderie between inmates brings the pitiful, dorky air of those terrible school movies where the pushed-around kids get together and utilize their brain power to tear down the bulky, brawny, super-pretty ranks of the popular kids.

I recently reviewed another Robert Redford project, SPY GAME, and I was kind of surprised by how similar his characters are in these two scripts. They are essentially the same smart-ass bastards. In the case of SPY GAME the character was wrapped in an agreeable story.

Im a big fan of Rob Luries THE CONTENDER. A former movie critic, Lurie showed he had a sharp, cutting wit with his pen and an aptitude with his camera. The movie highlighted its many fine actors and proved both thought-provoking, smart and entertaining. Hes going from one end of the scale to the other with THE LAST CASTLE. THE CONTENDER got its pulses from smart people dealing with a situation that was beyond them. It was about conversation, not action. THE LAST CASTLE is all about false emotion and forced heroism. That and red-hot pennies and flaming pouches used for weapons in a battle that should last about forty minutes onscreen.

Writers David Scarpa and Graham Yost (SPEED, MISSION TO MARS) have seen too many prison movies and rather than tell a new tale, theyve decided to go back and lick off someone elses plate.

If THE LAST CASTLE didnt have its ideas so backwards (murderers killing innocent guards) it might make a nice crowd-pleasing movie. With the material as is, its almost like an example in wrongheaded thinking.

Redford makes for a fine hero, but this is a script that took more time thinking of how the prisoners would break away from their harsh conditions than research what those conditions actually are. If the Castle were actually this nice you might have to charge money to get in.

The only real prison here is the one THE LAST CASTLE puts itself into.

-- Darwin Mayflower.