Script Review: ACE IN THE HOLE

by Darwin Mayflower

WARNING: SPOILERS! (AS SCRIPTS MAY GO THROUGH MANY REWRITES, THE MOVIE MAY BE VERY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT IS REVIEWED HERE.)

(08/02/00)

I must confess to you, constant reader, that the only reason I read the script ACE IN THE HOLE is because I happened to meet a relative of Patrick Smith Kelly. And for some silly reason I cannot comprehend, when you meet even a family member of an author (or actor or composer) you want to read/watch/listen to something by that person.

And since its my job to give my opinion every time I read something (aint life sweet?) herein is my review of ACE IN THE HOLE.

This script has something mammoth going against it. Its a caper/heist script set in Vegas that will (supposedly) star Bruce Willis. I recently read a script that was a caper/heist script set in Vegas that will co-star Bruce Willis. That script was OCEANS ELEVEN. Written by Ted Griffith. And it got just about everything right. This script...well...

Patrick Smith Kelly (who I have such a tenuous connection to and wrote A PERFECT MURDER) actually rewrote this script. The original draft was penned by a man named Richard DOvido. From the looks of things -- the consistent format and overall style -- Id say its mostly Kelly were seeing.

Im fascinated by shamelessness. And so I tip my hat to the writers of this script for their brazen rip-off of the opening of CASINO. In that movie, yet another film set in Vegas (though it was the old Vegas), Robert De Niro ambles out to his car, talking to us in voice-over, and just as quickly as we met him he evaporates before us as his car explodes.

Here, in ACE IN THE HOLE, Alex Logan (Bruce Willis; if hes still attached to this project) ambles out to his car, talking in voice-over, and just as quickly as we met him he evaporates before us as his car explodes.

In both instances its in a parking lot. And in both instances you know the man is not really going to end up dead. And well be told why. And the script/film flashes directly back to what brought the man to that very moment.

Maybe thats the problem with ACE IN THE HOLE. Its made up of bits and pieces of other films -- both good and bad. The writers dont just steal...they almost revel in the fact that theyre unabashedly showing you something that was old in 1985.

Check out this story and try not to fall asleep: Gone-good con man Alex Logan is living in Utah working as a wood sculptor. Since this is a movie hes the best in the world and he learned the craft in jail. An old running buddy, now part of the legit gambling in Vegas, offers him a quick, high-paying job. All he has to do is come to Vegas, teach the "ten thousand green dealers" how to play (this is utter nonsense as anyone whos been to Vegas knows), earn his ten thousand dollars, and leave.

Alex turns him down. But a beautiful woman comes to his town. Shes trying to open an art gallery (in a small Utah town!) and display his art. With someone around to impress, Alex takes the job and flies to Vegas with his new squeeze (Rene). When he gets there he finds out -- big surprise -- the big boss ("quietly homicidal" Edwin) doesnt want him to teach dealers; he wants him to steal something for him.

Alex refuses. But -- I bet you saw this one coming -- Edwin says hell kill Rene if Alex doesnt cooperate.

I said two things when I reviewed OCEANS ELEVEN. The scam scenes have to be grand and unexpected and we have to at least marginally care about the people involved. ACE IN THE HOLE fails on both accounts. We never meet Rene (all we know is that shes a bad liar and shes so-so-so in love with Bruces character), which makes us indifferent to whether or not she gets bumped off. And Alexs most profound personal trait is that he likes to wink.

The scams insult your intelligence and feature a lot of you-do-this-and-Ill-do-that prattle, but ultimately it never matters what they do because its all about covering up the simplicity and irrationality of the crime itself.

The script also does something that -- as a longtime screenplay-reader -- really ticks me off. It cheats. Alexs scam to get what the big boss needs works like a charm. And he should be home free. But the writers can only come up with a dim-witted reason for it all to backfire.

Hows this: the guy on Alexs team that he didnt want (because he wasnt "cool") gets nervous and shoots a Fed.

This all leads to two more scams -- neither of which entertain -- neither of which I even remember after having just read it -- and which really mean nothing because, like I said, the entire cast of characters are ciphers. Big zeros that carry the boring plot.

For the one good line in the script --

Edwin (big, bad boss) asks Alex to work for him and Alex says, "No thanks. When I retire I want to see a gold watch, not the inside of a garbage bag."

-- we get entire pages of lifeless, vapid dialogue such as:

ALEX: Can I ask you something, Rene?

RENE: Shoot.

ALEX: Do you have any other gear besides overdrive?

RENE: Didnt realize I was breaking the speed limit, officer.

ALEX: Thats okay. Ill let you go with a warning this time.

Such sexual tension and devastating wit. I see now why she falls instantly in love with him.

We also get the standard tough-guy twaddle here. Where writers try to outdo Elmore Leonard by finding different ways to say the simple sentence "Im going to kill you."

Alex is a con man. I never once felt like I was in the hands of someone who knew anything about that race. Jim Thompson, who knew just about every trick and ruse out there, brilliantly delved into the mind of a small con in his novel THE GRIFTERS (which you should pick up if youve only seen the film). And David Mamet made the preeminent scam film -- the head-trip HOUSE OF GAMES.

Though it nearly pains me to say so, ACE has a totally illogical "surprise, surprise" ending (one of those things they spring on you right before the credits roll). I dont know how it got started, but every movie of this kind fits one in. In this case someone is not who you think they were; they were actually on the other side (good or bad). Youve seen it a million times. But it literally makes no sense. If you stop for a second and think back to what happened in the script -- which I doubt anyone will do -- with this new information...you realize something: if what you just read is true -- this plot makes even less sense.

If I may take a John Cage-like moment here, I have to ask: Whats going on inside Bruce Willis head? I cant say for sure if hes making this. But I remember reading recently he was.

The man has never been more popular. ARMAGEDDON and THE SIXTH SENSE have made half a billion dollars each. DISNEYS THE KID was a nice, small hit. So why return to jejune vapidity like THE WHOLE NINE YARDS (which was like a cheap knockoff of UMP) and this? Making UNBREAKABLE was a good idea. But Bruce still shows us that he has a hard time envisioning what will work on the big screen.

Hes one of my favorite living actors. So I, for one, hope we never see his name above ACE IN THE HOLE.

As for Patrick Smith Kelly and the relative of his I met...well, folks, I guess I hope they never run by this site. And if they do, I hope they remember that Im just a critic. So what the hell do I know?

-- Darwin Mayflower.